More Confessions of A Curly-Haired Chinese Woman

So.  I followed the basic tips for curly hair.  I washed, conditioned, and air-dried WITHOUT BRUSHING.

I made an amazing discovery:  I have a head of full curls.  Not wavy.  Curly.  Shirley-Temple-sausage-curls-from-my-crown-curly.  I discovered this because for the first time in my life I let it dry naturally without brushing the living hell out of it every step of the way like my mother insisted was the right way to treat my "horrible" hair.

Why is this amazing?  I'm Chinese, and all my life I've been told by everyone from my Mom to the hairstylists that Chinese people don't have curly hair.  My sisters' beautiful straight hair was always held up as examples.  Let's ignore the fact that my Dad has curly hair.  (Yes, my Mom has reality issues, that's not for this blog.)  After telling my sister about my discovery, she called me later to tell me that she had quizzed Dad and found out that when he was younger he had a full head of Shirley Temple curls.  Voila.  Mystery solved.  You can insist all you want, Mom, but my hair is not "bad" nor "horrible" nor damaged.  It's freaking CURLY!

I've been doing a lot of searching online.  I had tears in my eyes after finally understanding that brushing out the curls results in my gigantically poufy hair.  I choked up when I discovered that other Chinese have curly hair just like mine (I LOVE THE INTERNET), and I'm now searching for these people to get hair tips!  How many times was I told pretty much by everyone, including MOM and all hair stylists, that I'm Chinese, I couldn't POSSIBLY have curly hair.  It's just damaged.  I never understood how blowdrying or ironing could do THAT much damage, but I accepted it as truth.  It's kinda sad that it took till middle age to discover this, but hey, better late than never.

I now understand why my salon experiences were so traumatic.  I need someone who's experienced with curly hair, like HairPlay, which sounds so encouraging.  I'm a little shocked at all my curls, but I'm slowly getting used to it.  I'm starting to get excited about my hair.  I think I'm really going to like it.

Hair Rant - Confessions Of A Curly-Haired Chinese Woman

All my kid sisters' hair are all sleek, straight, and silky. They shampoo, air dry and it looks salon gorgeous. I was reminded of this on my sis' visit a few weeks back, especially after she made a comment (again) about how weird my hair was.

So how'd I miss out on those genes? What the HELL'S up with MY hair?!? It's got a serious identity crisis. It's curly in places, corkscrew in places, and wavy in places and straight in places. It's all the same in one way - unbelievably frizzy. After *I* wash and air dry *MY* hair, it fluffs up like a poodle. I wish I exaggerated. Hubby says I've got a whole 'fro going on.

Most unfair is that I'm a complete appearance minimalist, if well-groomed. I don't care to spend much time fussing over how I look.  I don't like products in my hair.  Most days I just put my hair in a ponytail, and be done with it. But even this has to be ironed and gelled to death before it's presentable, or I look like a crazy bag lady.

Fed up yesterday, I unearthed some good basic info online about frizzy curly hair. I'm tired of beating my hair into straightness.  I should just accept that my hair's never going to be like my sisters. I'm not listening to my mother anymore about my "bad hair" being all my fault and to brush my hair even harder and "better".  My hair is not damaged nor dry nor "bad".  I have a sneaking suspicion that I have really curly hair.

Lots of tips to try.  First I'll concentrate on all the dryness and ironing damage, to reduce the frizz.  I'm still looking for good sites, techniques, and products to try.  The videos on monkeysee.com are very instructive.  I liked this article on controlling frizzy hair.

I'm so excited.  I'm looking forward to the day I can just put some product in my hair, twist, air dry, and look great.  Not as simple as my sisters' hair, but close enough.  I'd be happy.